5 Daily Practices Ignite this Leader’s Emotional Intelligence

Today’s Leader PROFILE: 
Strength Overplayed A Potential Achilles Heel

As a mentor coach, I have the privilege of working with some of the brightest people on the planet. That said, bright leaders of today often chase high stakes, results-driven work to a fault, trading action and speed for measured thought.  

At WhitesSpace, we help clients take stock of their behaviors long enough to see and accept the impact of their actions, and then to course-correct.

A Case in Point

Recently, a very bright client had the chance to view herself on video during a problem-solving session with her peers.  

To her horror, it revealed an 80/20 talk/listen ratio. Not good. Her “talk first” communication style was choking the life out of peer and employee engagement. Her emotional intelligence was in jeopardy.

After some tough but productive assessment and feedback conversations, she was all in. We identified strategies that would allow her to “chill” long enough to help her team feel free to contribute and commit to the significant deliverables set before them.

Her Personalized Turnaround Plan:

Fortunately, this client was a quick study. In the turnaround plan we agreed on key activities that would improve her emotional intelligence. She would: 

1.   Schedule a daily, non-negotiable 15-minute meeting with herself to focus, reflect and practice a more effective communication style. Remember, remember, remember.

Remember to pause, to remember your end goal, to remember to do what you know to do.  

2.   Add 15 minutes of margin to team meetings to set the stage for open dialogue. (In other words, leave room for white space in meetings vs. cram every minute into an already overstuffed agenda.)  She would be the last person to speak, forcing herself to build on the ideas of others.  

3.   Encourage others to routinely take the lead and facilitate team meetings.

4.   Respect the sweet silence between words by bridling her mouth and paying closer attention to her body language. 

5.   Model the wisdom of healthy self-care to her team by practicing mindful breathing, adequate rest and reflection, and by using the lunch hour to nourish and renew her body, mind and soul.

Her results: 

Within one month she reported that the team was opening up much more; people were feeling more empowered; she was learning a lot from her team.

In month two, people were gaining much greater confidence and identifying better solutions; she was a month early on her performance evaluations; she was preparing for meetings in advance and communicating considerately with others, so they could also prepare in advance also; she was tapping her assistant’s skills to stay on track with her plan.

In month three, she reported a talk/listen ration of 20/80, a complete reversal from the original pattern.

Observations:

I commend this leader for her openness to feedback.  Rather than be defensive, she embraced the chance to try a better way. She owned the importance of translating insight into action. That action included regular pauses for reflection to mediate her former “execution overdrive.” This constituted significant “against the grain” behavior for her to initiate and sustain.

Expertise that Matters:

Emotional intelligence, demonstrated by the kind of behavior that this executive chose to cultivate, is an indispensable skill set found in top leaders.

Daniel Goleman, among the most recognized experts in the field, asserts that 90% of the difference between star performers and average performers in senior leadership is Emotional Intelligence.

He says, “CEO’s are hired for their intellect and business expertise and fired for a lack of emotional intelligence.” This truth extends to individual contributors and senior leader alike.

The Cliff Notes on Emotional Intelligence: 

You might appreciate the “cliff notes” on a topic that has the potential for such huge impact on both business and personal results.  Here is the four-bullet distillation of the high-impact targets for personal and professional development:

·    Self-awareness

·    Self-management

·    Social awareness

·    Relationship management

If you consider the WhitesSpace Growth Cycle, you will see it front-loaded with the Pause that we believe is the portal to all the rest.

In Conclusion:

This executive was a good leader who moved to a great leader because she was willing to look in the mirror and to try something new. I delight to have been her trusted companion on this learning journey.

What about you?  Ready to look in the mirror to try something new?  Pick any one of these ideas and put it into action.  Let me know how it goes!